Yesterday wasn’t a total loss, but it wasn’t very productive school-wise. And that’s ok, because today? Today he is doing so much better. One day at a time is advice we follow for a reason – because it’s all you can do. Take it one day at a time and take in the victories the day gives you –
even especially the ones you weren’t expecting.
During the one’o’clock hour on Wednesday morning, my homeschooler awoke with the feeling that a bug was trying to crawl out of his ear. He came to my bedside, panicked, and in my sleepy-not-fully-awake-ness I tried to tell him it was most likely just water. We had gone swimming the day before and he always gets water trapped in his ears.
Between my mumbly speech and his panicked state, he heard something about putting water in the other ear to make the bug come out. He came back to tell me it did not work. Confused, I said, “what didn’t work??” He said he put water in his other ear but the bug didn’t come out. I explained what I meant and he relaxed immediately, but walked out of the room saying he was so stupid for thinking it was a bug. I quickly told him he wasn’t stupid, he was just worried and that’s ok.
By this point, both of us were wide awake and we both found ourselves migrating to the living room. Sometimes, when I just can’t sleep, moving to a different part of the house helps. So that’s what we did. Neither of us were in a great mood for schooling once the day started and we hadn’t slept much, so we just didn’t force it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that it’s not worth it to force it on days like that. We did work on something new and exciting, though, so it wasn’t a total loss. I’ll blog about that next time. ;)
The victory in this day was the way we handled the upset after this new activity, which frustrated him toward the end. He got frustrated (admittedly, I probably let him do this one activity for too long, we have to keep screen time short around here) and exclaimed he wouldn’t be doing it ever again. The negative self talk started and then he went off to his room.
I gave him some space like I always do and as I was washing my hands a few minutes later, I realized how grateful I am that he is so verbal with how he is feeling. It isn’t easy dealing with all these emotions, or hearing the way he sometimes talks, but my goodness, what if he was just barely surviving each day alone with those thoughts? Never telling anyone about them? So after I knew he’d had some time to calm down, I told him two things:
- I am proud of you for trying something new and I know you’ll want to do it again and get better and better at it.
- I am glad that you tell me how you feel – even when the things you feel aren’t good things. Thank you for telling me so I know, and can keep working on ways to help you.
I had entered the room telling him I just wanted to say two things and I think what I had to say surprised him – in a good way.
So that was the thing for that day, that was our progress. We are both learning as we go – not just in math, science, etc but socially and emotionally too, which are more important than anything else. I have not and will not ever be a perfect parent, but I am learning and changing my ways, day by day.
Today, he completed everything on the schedule + the stuff we would have done yesterday. One day at a time means letting each day be what it is, and diving in head first on the good days.
*this post is filled with photos of lazy cats because that’s basically what we were on this day